Where Are You Going?

In Alice In Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, when Alice asks the Cheshire Cat which way she ought to go, the Cat replies that it depends where she wants to go.  “I don’t much care,” Alice begins. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.  And so it is with each of us. If we do not have a destination in mind, it doesn’t much matter what we do, which company we work for, where we live, or what choices we make about using our time and energy.

 But it does matter …A LOT!  If you have no vision of a satisfying future, you will never reach it.  As a result, many people find themselves living lives of ‘quiet desperation’ -  feeling  something is missing.  Only you can lead your life.  Only you know the difference between what is “good enough” and the life you want.  All that is required is a little reflection and a lot of honesty.  After all, it is just you talking with you.  Regardless of your age, envisioning the future you desire is the first step on the path to achieving that life.  Even if it may take years, each choice, each action – even inaction – can be measured against movement toward your goal.

 Now don’t get crazy on me!  Some of us take this ‘vision’ to an extreme and feel they need to plan every second.  Without a vision, frustration comes from being vaguely unhappy.  Over planning will bring frustration from too much measuring and not enough living.  As with most of life, moderation is required: Know where you want to go AND enjoy the journey.  Sometimes those unpredicted side roads hold the best lessons.

Every Day, Every Moment

Every day, in each moment, we make choices. Those choices determine the quality and course of the rest of our lives. Do we get behind the wheel of our car even though we feel a little tipsy? Do we push back against unreasonable demands from our boss or our board? This is the foundation of leadership. We often get taken in by the BIG leadership picture: world leaders and figures in the news. Each of those individuals also make choices in each moment that have mounted up to “leadership” that someone else noticed.

What you do in private when no one can see is more important – even in your thoughts – that where the choices begin. Do you only perform leadership for other to notice? Each choice, or just ‘going along’ – another kind of choice – describes your character, your authenticity, your habits. In times of pressure, it’s our habits that we fall back on. What are yours?

Leadership: Remaining In Sync with the Truth

Being in a leadership position – regardless of the scope or pay grade – requires you to balance the needs of multiple entities.  There are  individual needs (including your own), the needs of the organization, the needs of your team or project, the needs of society, and the needs of future generations to name some of the more common ones.  All of these needs rarely align.  We all know about trade-offs and compromise.  Unfortunately, we take them for granted – just part of doing business.  Do the needs have to align? No.  Making the hard decisions is part of the role of a leader.  Communicating those decisions can be even harder – especially when talking to those whose desired ‘need’ cannot be accommodated in the implemented solution.

So, is there a “Truth” with a capital ‘T’ – meaning only one - in each situation confronting a leader and his/her team?  The ‘right’ decision seems to be relative to the perspective of the worldview of the entity you consult.  If there is not just one Truth, what’s a leader to do?  Answer: Exercise your role: lead with authenticity, lead from your worldview.  After all, authenticity – being yourself – is bringing your best to the situation.  You are in the position of leadership because people trust your judgement and are willing to follow.  If not, your days as the leader are numbered anyway. So trust your truth, your worldview, your perspective and ACT – make the call, point the direction.  By remaining in sync with your truth, you more easily demonstrate the consistency to which people are drawn.  Besides as one friend put it: It is easier when you tell the truth – there are fewer details to keep track of.

Conflict – Good or Bad?

The answer to the question is more complex than picking one of the offered responses. 

First of all, it depends who you ask.  Some people like the contest aspect of conflict and are drawn to or stir up conflict.  Others are put off or fearful and will go out of their way to avoid any situation that could provide grounds for conflict.

Secondly, what do you mean by “conflict”?  At its simplest, conflict is a difference of opinion.  Most people who say conflict is “bad” are referring to the highest levels of conflict – personal hostilities or global warfare.  On our teams, we need a variety of opinions to select a course of action.  That means we need conflict – different ideas about how to respond to a new constraint to our work.

Finally, it depends.  Once we have finished our professional debate about strategy, we need to pull together to implement the decision.  Personal opposition and minority opinions (conflict) only serve to dilute our efforts.  (That would be “bad”.)  Non-professional debate (personal comments or innuendos) distract everyone from the work that needs to be done.  (That would be “bad”.)  Behavior or communication that divides the team or destroys the team’s morale – that would be “bad” as well.

Keep in mind that no matter how you feel about any level of conflict or a particular situation, the each team member has his/her own take.  As a team member, and particularly if you are the nominal leader, be aware of the rest of the team’s response to any situation of conflict.

The World Pressing In

It is amazing how ordinary events seem to press on my time – and have since before the holidays.  As a solo operator of my business, when I have the good fortune to be providing services to my clients four or five days a week (plus prep time), squeezing in time to write doesn’t quite make it to the top of the day’s priority list.  Then the holiday celebrations arrive and time with family and friends – not to mention a little self down-time.  With the start of a new year, there is the flurry of activity – client contact, service days, training prep – that pushes writing out of the top spot.

Then something like the recent earthquake in Haiti puts my life “troubles” in stark perspective.  This is an event.  This demands action from all of us in whatever measure we can provide it.  I admire the people who can and do travel to help, whether it is part of their job or as a volunteer.  Some people send financial contributions.  Everyone can send positive thoughts and prayers to the people who are injured, lost, missing, or left behind.

Does it have to take something as big as an earthquake to shake us out of our self-involved lives?  Even here in the United States, there are people who need a helping hand.  The recent extreme cold highlighted the plight of the homeless here in metro Washington DC area.  It’s not like there are only homeless people when it is cold.  There are those who are aware of needs because they work or volunteer as part of their regular life.  I got an email from a school friend, who it turns out has a longstanding relationship with a village in Haiti and asked for financial help for those people 120 miles from Port-au-Prince  – far from the mainstream of aid headed for Haiti.  (If you want to learn more see:  http://NewLifeForHaiti.org)

It had never come up in conversation that this guy and his family were involved in this charitable work.  Do you know what good works your team members are doing?  If you have no clue, you might ask.  Who knows what insight into their motivation you might gain.

Speed at Any Cost?

November was a bad month for my car and a drain on my time getting it fixed and making arrangements for alternate transportation.  After years of carefree driving, I got two flat tires in the space of two weeks.  Thank goodness, the sidewall punctures caused the tires went flat overnight in my driveway – as opposed to blow out on the Interstate – so there was never any danger.  My spare, which I had never used, is one of those “doughnuts” – small profile and high pressure for easy storage.  The downside shows up in its speed rating – not more than 50 MPH.

I don’t know about where you live but here in the Metro D.C. area, active schools zones are probably the only places that have speed limit under 50.  This is an exaggeration, of course.  Other residential areas are in the 35-45 MPH range, but all the major thoroughfares are 55-65.  Driving them at 50 is almost dangerous…and I can hear you cussing out that “slow” driver for causing additional traffic tie-ups.

Being forced to slow down got me thinking about speed.  I noticed that I could see more details along the road and remember them at my reduced speed.  I even walked certain stretches of road I normally drive and saw even more detail at a walking pace.  It started me thinking about the demand for speed in the workplace.  It seems that people want everything as fast as possible.  Now I have heard the saying that “time is money,” but do we really need all activities done as fast as possible?

I submit for your consideration that building business relationships does not benefit from speed.  Human beings are complex and those subtitles get lost like the roadside details the faster we try to go.  When it comes to getting to know your team members or your customers, take it slow and enjoy the ride.  The additional insights you gain will pay huge dividends in the long run.

Snakes

When I was driving home the other day – a brisk and sunny fall day, I swerved to avoid a beautiful yellow and green rattlesnake basking on the warm asphalt.  The spot it picked was right at the crest of a hill, not visible to travelers coming up hill as I was.  Concerned that the next person might not be as fortunate I was, I pulled over, put on my flashers, and walked back to encourage the snake to cross the road one way or another.  Apparently the rattler was as startled by my car as I was of it because it was gone by the time I got to its sunning spot.

As I was walking back to my car, I realized many people would not have stopped to assure the safe passage of that snake.  Snakes do not enjoy a great reputation in the mainstream US society, and yet snakes entwine on medical insignia.  Many cultures around the world revere snakes.  Like many symbols, there is the “good” side – the ability to transform itself (“shedding it own skin”) – and the “bad” side – (hiding secretive and venomous to swallow the unwary).

If you feel like you are walking into a viper’s den when you go to work, that’s not a good sign. It is a call to action for you as the nominal leader of the team.  The best antidote to this kind of  poison on your team is to confront the situation through talking about the consequences to the work.  By focusing on more objective outcomes, as opposed to personal reaction, the team can process the problem and determine a solution for itself.  This enables individual team members to commit to “their” plan, rather than resisting an external plan in which they had little or no input.

The good news can be that, as a result of confronting the “bad” side of the snake, you and your team will transform into an innovative, flexible organism, capable of amazing feats.  The choice is yours.

Creating a Sense of Team (7): r-e-s-p-e-c-T

Today’s post is the last of the series about respect as an acronym for actions you can take to build your team.  Creating and maintaining effective relationships is the key to ensuring seamless team coordination. It doesn’t happen by accident – it requires attention and work by the nominal leader.  Mutual respect lays the foundation of effective relationships. 

r-e-s-p-e-c-T

The bedrock of effective teamwork is the “T” – trust.  We recognize trust when it is present – and when it is missing – but a lot of people have difficulty describing exactly what trust is.  People often use words like “faith in someone” or “belief that a person can be counted on.”  These are still pretty fuzzy definitions.  The best definition I have been able to put together through reading, discussion, and reflection is: Trust is an emotional opinion that other people hold of you.  Notice that the gauge of trust is not yours- it rests in an opinion (not facts), interpreted by others.  We are not able to influence people directly, as in saying to someone “You can trust me.”  As a matter of fact, the more direct you are, “Trust me, trust me,”  the more suspicious people will become.  The only direct action that you can take is to demonstrate trustworthy behavior – matching your language and your actions.  Put more simply: Doing what you say you will do, ”walking the talk,” or following through on a promise.

The common action verb that goes with trust is “building.”  To me, that is too direct.  “Cultivate” seems more appropriate.  I can demonstrate trustworthy behavior until the cows come home to attempt to “build” trust and you may still not choose to trust me.  By showing you that I live up to my word gives you the time and opportunity to form your own opinion of trust.  It is a lot more like gardening where if you plant the seed, provide water and light, you get results.  With trust, you plant the seed of following through on what you say and give people the opportunity to recognize you as trustworthy.

If we all became gardeners of trust, we would be surrounded by trusting relationships.  Imagine how much easier our work would be if we all knew we could count on each other.  I’d like to try it out to see if it’s as good as it sounds.  It may be even better.

Creating a Sense of Team (6): r-e-s-p-e-C-t

Relationships make or break a team’s effectiveness.  The leader/manager sets the tone and models the behavior that the rest of the team follows.  Over seven posts, we will be looking at “respect” as an action acronym to guide creating and maintaining team dynamics that lead to productivity.

r-e-s-p-e-C-t

“C” stands for choice.  Each of your team members has a choice about whether on not they work on your team.  They may not have a choice about working – our society depends on money to exchange for goods so we exchange our time for money.  But we all have some latitude about where we work and for whom, including you as the leader/manager.

The action part of the choice is to acknowledge that people can and will choose to stay on the team you lead – or not.  It is interesting to note the difference in the way volunteers are treated compared to paid employees.  Volunteers are welcomed, treated as rare and wonderful contributors, and thanked for their time and effort.  I have had the opportunity to work with several not-for-profit organizations that have a mix of volunteer and paid staff.  On two occasions, volunteers accepted offers to become full-time paid staff.  They immediately noticed a difference in how they were treated.  Instead of being welcomed, they were all but ignored because now they “had to” be at work by virtue of being paid.  I have spoken with many managers who do not think they have to thank their employees for completed work because “it’s their job”.  Unfortunately both of these volunteers-turned-employees quit after less than one month because they could not reconcile the change in their treatment.  Not only did the organization have to rehire and retrain, they lost these folks as volunteers – and anyone else who heard about their experience with the organization.

Treat everyone on your team as the volunteer that they are.  Be civil.  Be polite.  Be clear about task responsibilities.  Be firm and maintain the standards of performance.  Acknowledging your team members as volunteers should not undercut your role as the leader/manager or eliminate their responsibility to perform.  

If anything remembering you are all volunteers may inspire a sense of freedom to commit more fully to the work – because you and they are making the choice to be there.  Help them choose your team.

Creating a Sense of Team (5): r-e-s-p-E-c-t

Respect builds effective relationships. Creating and maintaining effective business relationships requires respect.  Those important business relationships do not  happen by accident - they need attention and work by the nominal leader.  Over seven posts, we will explore “respect” as an acronym for the actions a leader/manger can take to ensure seamless team coordination.

r-e-s-p-E-c-t:

This second “E” stands for enjoyment.  This can be an odd word to associate with “work”.  But if we can’t stand what we are doing, we spend more time thinking about what we don’t like and little time concentrating on the task at hand.  According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi of the University of Chicago, without some intrinsic enjoyment of what we are doing, we can’t get to a state he calls “the psychology of the optimal experience” or “flow” for short.  We would probably call it being “in the zone” – where everything clicks and the work seems effortless. 

As a leader/manager you need to encourage your team members (including you!) to enjoy the work they are doing.  Now, that does not mean being always deliriously happy - it does mean that people generally enjoy the challenge of their day-to-day tasks.  If they don’t, they will not reach that peak of efficiency leading to great individual performance.  Even more, if any one person on your team cannnot get “in the zone”, the team as a whole cannot perform at their best.

If someone on your team drags themselves in to work each day and hates their job, you can help them remember why they started in this line of work.  Help them remember what they enjoy about the work or the organization or the people.  If they really don’t like what they are doing, then help them find a job that they do like – on another team or in another organization - because they will continually undercut your team’s ability to do work.  You don’t need that, nor do they.  Everyone deserves to be happy – well, at least moderately so.