Respect builds effective relationships. Creating and maintaining effective relationships doesn’t happen by accident – it requires attention and work by the nominal leader. Over seven posts, we will explore “respect” as an acronym for the actions a leader/manger can take to ensure seamless team coordination.
r-e-s-P-e-c-t:
“P” stands for persistence. Human beings like consistency. If you start down the path of “respect” with your team, you need to maintain persistence in your respectful behavior. If you do not, you erode any trust you have built up. Just as when you were a child and one of your parents allowed you some input into a decision (like when you would clean your room), you felt a little more in control of your own schedule. If the parent later did not accept your input (“Do it now because I said so.”), not only did you feel excluded from that decision, you might wonder whether or not previous decisions would be revoked as well.
We used to have a black and white kitty named Puckey. He moved like a small mountain lion and, at 16 pounds, he was pretty rugged. Like most cats, he did what he pleased when he pleased. He liked that fact that I work from my home office a couple days a week since it meant he could be outside more often. We had a deal (as much as you can make a deal with a cat) that he could go out as long as he came back in time for me to get to a client meeting or, at least, that he would come when he was called. Most of the time he was pretty good about honoring this deal. One day he was pushing the limits of when I had to leave. I called and called. Finally, I saw him on the deck. I went out to pick him up to bring him in. Did I mention that he had seven toes (with claws) on each foot? As he scrambled to get away from my grab, my arms were slashed so I needed to clean up and change shirts (and I am already running late!) Once he got away, he immediately went to door to go in. Had I maintained persistence in my treatment of our deal and petted him, rather than trying the force him in by grabbing, I would have saved more time than I spent.
And what do you think the longer term outcome was in our relationship? That’s right – for several days he avoided me thinking I would grab him again. If you acting inconsistently with your team members (or stakeholders), they will question whether or not they can trust you (your decisions, your policies, or your instructions) and slow the speed of work, while looking to reestablish their consistent view of you. If you maintain persistence in embodying your respect for each individual’s contribution to the team effort, you can eliminate the slow down and encourage speedy responses to your direction.
Leaders/managers often describe a frustrating day as “herding cats.” It is not a bad way to think of working with people – they all have free will. Help them choose to follow your lead.
